Found some great funny one-liners:
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
3. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
4. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
5. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
6. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
7. There's two types of people in this world, one who can count, and one who can't.
8. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.